[Nothing New] When You Feel Stuck and Powerless

Sometimes, life hits us hard — and keeps hitting.

You’re doing your best, playing by the rules, and yet…

Things fall apart.

People let you down.

Circumstances pile up, and you're left wondering:

"Why is this happening to me?"

"I didn’t do anything wrong."

"How did I end up here?"

It’s easy, in those moments, to feel like a victim.

To feel helpless.

To believe that everything is happening to you, and that you have no control over what happens next.

But there’s a mental shift that can help you reclaim clarity and a sense of agency.

Step outside yourself.

Picture this: you're no longer experiencing the situation from within your own head.

Instead, you’re observing yourself — as if you were a character in a movie.

Now ask:

• What is this character going through?

• What challenges are they facing?

• How are they handling the situation?

• What would I, as the director of this story, want them to do next?

This small shift in perspective can make a big difference.

It’s called self-distancing — the practice of mentally stepping back and observing yourself from a third-person point of view.

And it works.

When you shift from "I am stuck" to "That character is stuck, what could they do next?" you create emotional distance.That distance reduces overwhelm and opens space for better thinking.

You’re no longer buried in emotion.You’re guiding the story forward — as both observer and author.

There’s research to back this.

Studies from the University of Michigan and several others have found that when people reflect on personal challenges using a third-person perspective (referring to themselves by name or as “you” instead of “I”), they gain:

• More emotional regulation

• Better decision-making

• Increased resilience in the face of stress

In short, detaching from your immediate identity — even briefly — can help you respond, not just react.

So how do you use this in real life?

Try this the next time you feel stuck:

1. Pause.

2. Imagine you're watching yourself in a scene.

3. Ask:–

   • What is this character going through?

   • What options do they have?

   • What would I advise them to do?

Then, act on that advice.

Take one step forward, not as the overwhelmed actor — but as the director calling the next shot.

You are not powerless.

You are not just the actor in the story.

You're also the one shaping where it goes next.