[Nothing New] Why Habits Fail - And What to Do Instead

We’ve all been there.

You hear a motivational speech or watch a powerful video that hits just right.

Suddenly, you’ve got a grand plan to change your life:

For a few days, you’re on fire.

But just like New Year’s resolutions, within two weeks, it’s back to the old routine.

The spark fades. The habits crumble.

So what gives?

Most of us start with what we want to do.

But we’re relying on motivation. And motivation runs out.

Here’s what works better: Start with who.

Not what you want to do, but who you want to become.

When you act based on identity, discipline becomes natural.

The habit is no longer a task — it’s who you are.

I was never the athletic kid growing up. But during my A-levels, I trained in martial arts for a while - and something clicked.

I admired the monk-like discipline and mental resilience I saw.

I wanted to be that kind of person.

From then on, it wasn’t about dragging myself to work out.

The question became:

“What would someone with that mindset do?”

Sleep in, or get up and train — no matter how they felt?

I’d seen the long-term effects of poor health on families.

So even my eating choices became identity-driven:

“What would someone who wants to be healthy for their family do?”

Since that mindset shift, I’ve trained every morning — religiously.

Not as a chore. But because that’s who I am.

Even if I don’t have the perfect physique to show for it, people around me knew me as: “The guy who does CrossFit every morning.”

Now, even if I don't feel like it and skip a session, someone might ask: “Didn’t you train today? Everything okay?”

When my own willpower slips, that social accountability kicks in — because identity has taken root.

Want your habits to last?

Don’t just change your behavior.

Change your identity.

Ask yourself: “What kind of person would do this consistently?”

Then start showing up as that person — one small action at a time.

BUDDHINATH